Dear Abby from March 26:
I am a female high school junior with many friends I love and a boyfriend I care for very much. A number of my friends are gay.Abby responds,
One girl, "Belinda," is a year older than I am. She told me a couple of years ago that she is a lesbian. I have done everything I can to help her and support her. Last year, Belinda shared that she loves me more than as a friend. She would like to take me to the prom this year, and I would like to go with her.
Because I am already involved in a relationship with a boy, should I not be Belinda's escort? If I go, how do I tell my parents?
It's time you have another talk with Belinda and explain to her that you like her very much as a friend, but not in the same way that she feels about you. Because you are already involved in a relationship, you and your boyfriend could (possibly) attend the prom with Belinda as a threesome -- but you should not be her "date." If this turns out to be the solution to your problem, I'm sure your parents would have no objection to it.
Lulu: Well, if the girl thinks it's a date, then I don't think she should go. On a date. With someone who is not her boyfriend.
Ashley: Right. Why does she want to go to prom with the girl if she's got a boyfriend? Does he not want to go?
Lulu: It's Belinda's prom. She's a senior, the LW and boyfriend are juniors.
Ashley: Oh, I see. So now Belinda is supposed to invite both of them?
Lulu: She can't. Tickets are sold in pairs. I don't think you're even allowed to bring more than one date from outside the senior class.
Ashley: Right, that's why Abby's thing doesn't make sense. Even if it's allowed, though, it's weird. It's definitely possible to go to prom as friends, so if it's like a support-your-lesbian kind of thing, then sure. I don't see why not. As long as Belinda's clear on the show-of-support date as opposed to a date-date.
Lulu: The fact that Belinda has confessed her love, though, makes me think that it's too fraught. Unless the LW actually does want to go on a date with her, which kind of seems possible. I mean, it kind of seems like maybe the LW likes Belinda more than her boyfriend.
Ashley: Eh, I think she likes proms more than not going to proms.
Lulu: Just saying. She can go as Belinda's actual gay date. I'm just throwing that out there. Or she can go as friends, if they're both clear they are going as friends.
Lulu: And if that is the case, the way she tells her parents is, "We are going as friends."
Ashley: Sort of in either case, depending on the parents.