Lulu: Hmmm, Meredith’s question is about a guy who goes to bed/gets up early and girl who goes to bed/gets up late! Like you! And Galahad!
Ashley: That is relevant to my life!
Lulu: I know! How do you deal with it?? Meredith doesn't have much, just tells them to get a king-size bed. I agree with her that the solution is not for one of them to adjust to the other's sleep schedule, I don't think that would work.
Ashley: He goes to bed at 10pm, she goes to bed at midnight. He wakes up at 5-7am, she wakes up at 8-9am.
Lulu: Are you saying it's not that different? Because his seems super early to me...Hers seems early side of normal.
Ashley: I think we’re bad judges of “normal”. Left to my devices, I would be 3am to 11am sleep person
Lulu: Same. Maybe 4-12…
Ashley: Galahad and I both compromised, basically. We go to bed at 12-1am, and get up at 8-9am.
Lulu: So you're saying 11 to 7 would not that bad for either one.
Ashley: Right, I think they could try that. But, I mean, he works shifts, so that might be out of his hands. I don't see why his naps are a problem, though.
Lulu: Right, why can't he take a nap and she just... not.
Ashley: Right! And there is also a chance that once they live together, it'll be easier to ignore him getting out of bed. It used to bother me when Galahad got up at 6, but now that we live together, I don't even notice because it's background noise.
Lulu: Yeah, I think the distance makes that worse, because they can't acclimate.
Ashley: Right. So I think the only real problem is that she wakes up when he does, but then doesn't want to take naps, and can't fall asleep earlier. Because it also seems like he's not having issues here, right?
Lulu: Well, he didn't write in.
Ashley: But he just goes to bed when he wants and wakes up when he wants and takes naps when he wants? So the point is… her solutions don't need to be concerned with him, since he's doing what he wants to anyway. So she just needs to fix herself!
Lulu: Hah! I think her best bet might be sleeping in after he wakes up.
Ashley: Her options are:
1) fall back asleep after he gets up
2) go to sleep earlier somehow
3) learn to love naps
Lulu: Getting back to sleep after someone wakes up at 6 is easier than going to bed earlier.
Ashley: But yeah, unless he is actually waking her up at 5am on purpose, I don't think there's anything they can do except get more used to each other, which is admittedly hard in a LDR. So it's one weekend per month, right? I guess they can trade off sleeping on the couch during that weekend?
Lulu: Yeah, if that helps... getting woken up periodically on the bed might be more restful than sleeping in the living room, while people are all getting up making eggs singing songs.
Ashley: ...is that common?
Lulu: I don't know what people do at 5am! I was using my imagination!
Complaining that somebody takes naps when you don't WANNA nap makes you a bad person. Complaining that somebody takes naps while on vacation basically makes you Hitler if Hitler were more of a jerk.
ReplyDeleteThis was weird to me:
"Also, try to make your current situation as romantic as possible. Put him to bed. Ask him to wake you up with breakfast. See if you can make some of his naps more ... productive."
Darnell breaks it down!
Put him to bed - What? Don't do this. I don't recall the LW mentioning that they had a baby fetish thing going on in this relationship.
Ask him to wake you up with breakfast - This might be a nice thing to for somebody occasionally, but it doesn't seem like something you should ask him to do for you especially if he is getting up to get ready for work. It would just mean he would have to get up earlier to shove cereal in your drool-encrusted face.
See if you can make some of his naps more ... productive - I'm just going to say it; blowing him before his naps is going to be awesome for him, but the end result is going to be longer naps. Also he will probably start napping more. Because blowies.
Right, I'm not super sure that Meredith and the LW were on the same page, time-wise. Because it seems like they meet on weekends, and the work reference was just that he's used to waking up at 5am due to working a weird shift schedule, and it's hard to get up four hours later on a weekend (not a problem I have, obv.)
ReplyDeleteMaybe the blowing situation should take place to wake him up from naps? To encourage shorter naps?
Asian girl: I really like sleep sex.
ReplyDeleteWhite girl #1: What's that?
Asian girl: You know, when you're sleeping and you wake up and you're having sex. Sleep sex.
White girl #2: You mean getting raped?
Courtesy of Overheard In New York