Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
In which Lulu and Ashley relate everything to TV
Lulu: In Love Letters, there's a guy who's bad at dating, but I think Meredith's advice is fine, i.e. think of dating as finding someone you like, not gaming to find the highest-quality person who will settle for you.
Ashley: "Is the bar too low" requires examples, though. There is no way to know if he's aiming too high.
Lulu: Yeah, we need photos.
Ashley: I do agree that it's a stupid way to date, but given that he's dating that way, we can't even answer his question!
Lulu: Yeah, is he a 3 approaching 9s or a 7 approaching 4s? It gets fuzzier when you factor in things other than attractiveness, but, really, who does.
Ashley: I know right. He seems to want his date to have a career, but he's under 25. Tons of them won't!
Lulu: Yeah, that's weird. I guess career people are attracted to other career people, but my communist nature wants career people to pair with poor students and artists so they're not just a pair of career people hoarding all the money! But I guess girls who have careers usually want boys with EVEN BETTER careers, and we're just used to boys not caring about girls' moneymaking potential, so it's refreshingly nonsexist but also irritating.
Ashley: It's true that i don't want to date a starving artist, but it has little to do with money-making potential. I just don't like art!
Lulu: Would you date a barista? He loves serving coffee. He's smart and logical and loves sci-fi. He looks like Marshall Mann from In Plain Sight, but with long hair. He makes $12,000 a year, including tips.
Ashley: You had me at Marshall Mann. Also possibly at "barista". I am very sleepy.
Lulu: The commenters seem to be in agreement that settling is a bad idea, although some think it's because he's a jerk for evaluating women in terms of their looks/earning potential and others think he is doing himself a disservice by dating people he's not interested in. (I still think it comes down to whether they're imagining him as a 4 or an 8 in looks an earning potential.) Either way, though, it's a bad idea to date someone you think is beneath you. Ooh, this ties into this week's Amy Alkon too, although there it's intelligence.
Ashley: Reading... Lols. 137 isn't that high. (I'm 138 /flex)
Lulu: I don't know what I am. Probably 139.
Ashley: I know /sigh
Lulu: Agree on Amy Alkon identifying the problem as sunk costs fallacy.
Ashley: Also on man she makes stupid decisions, for a supposedly smart girl.
Lulu: Yeah, maybe do some research before you commit to an investment. In dating, research = time. She also seems to say that she feels this will be a problem when things are less 'new and exciting.' So they still are?
Ashley: And he's already unintelligent and illogical? Like, in everything? That's kind of impressive.
Lulu: She also says she loves him. People are weird.
Ashley: He's Jason from True Blood?
Lulu: I can see it!
Ashley: ...Okay, phrased that way...
Lulu: Right? He's endearing! Dumb, but hot, and most important, likeable.
Ashley: So let's give her the benefit of the doubt and say she's trying to stay with Jason.
Lulu: I feel like a lot of it also depends on, when he has an ignorant, wrong opinion, like 'god hates fangs,' can you change his mind? Is his heart in the right place? Or is he asshole kind of dumb? That's sort of unclear with Jason, really.
Ashley: Jason does change his mind; just, you know, a lot. All the time. His mind is a sieve.
Lulu: Yeah, you can change his mind, but so can the next person he talks to.
Ashley: But he's not malicious. I think "pure of heart" is a good descriptor. As is "village idiot." I think if I knew a girl who was banging Jason, I would tell her to keep banging him. But not like, move in or anything. So I guess she should move out, and get friends and stuff.
Lulu: Yeah, I think that's actually a decent compromise. She already moved, so maybe she can try and see if there is any other advantage to living there if he isn't the center of her world--you know, just in case. It could be like Felicity! She went to NYU for Ben, but she STAYED for the exciting city life. Also Noel. Also Ben. That show was confusing.
Ashley: "Is the bar too low" requires examples, though. There is no way to know if he's aiming too high.
Lulu: Yeah, we need photos.
Ashley: I do agree that it's a stupid way to date, but given that he's dating that way, we can't even answer his question!
Lulu: Yeah, is he a 3 approaching 9s or a 7 approaching 4s? It gets fuzzier when you factor in things other than attractiveness, but, really, who does.
Ashley: I know right. He seems to want his date to have a career, but he's under 25. Tons of them won't!
Lulu: Yeah, that's weird. I guess career people are attracted to other career people, but my communist nature wants career people to pair with poor students and artists so they're not just a pair of career people hoarding all the money! But I guess girls who have careers usually want boys with EVEN BETTER careers, and we're just used to boys not caring about girls' moneymaking potential, so it's refreshingly nonsexist but also irritating.
Ashley: It's true that i don't want to date a starving artist, but it has little to do with money-making potential. I just don't like art!
Lulu: Would you date a barista? He loves serving coffee. He's smart and logical and loves sci-fi. He looks like Marshall Mann from In Plain Sight, but with long hair. He makes $12,000 a year, including tips.
Ashley: You had me at Marshall Mann. Also possibly at "barista". I am very sleepy.
Lulu: The commenters seem to be in agreement that settling is a bad idea, although some think it's because he's a jerk for evaluating women in terms of their looks/earning potential and others think he is doing himself a disservice by dating people he's not interested in. (I still think it comes down to whether they're imagining him as a 4 or an 8 in looks an earning potential.) Either way, though, it's a bad idea to date someone you think is beneath you. Ooh, this ties into this week's Amy Alkon too, although there it's intelligence.
Ashley: Reading... Lols. 137 isn't that high. (I'm 138 /flex)
Lulu: I don't know what I am. Probably 139.
Ashley: I know /sigh
Lulu: Agree on Amy Alkon identifying the problem as sunk costs fallacy.
Ashley: Also on man she makes stupid decisions, for a supposedly smart girl.
Lulu: Yeah, maybe do some research before you commit to an investment. In dating, research = time. She also seems to say that she feels this will be a problem when things are less 'new and exciting.' So they still are?
Ashley: And he's already unintelligent and illogical? Like, in everything? That's kind of impressive.
Lulu: She also says she loves him. People are weird.
Ashley: He's Jason from True Blood?
Lulu: I can see it!
Ashley: ...Okay, phrased that way...
Lulu: Right? He's endearing! Dumb, but hot, and most important, likeable.
Ashley: So let's give her the benefit of the doubt and say she's trying to stay with Jason.
Lulu: I feel like a lot of it also depends on, when he has an ignorant, wrong opinion, like 'god hates fangs,' can you change his mind? Is his heart in the right place? Or is he asshole kind of dumb? That's sort of unclear with Jason, really.
Ashley: Jason does change his mind; just, you know, a lot. All the time. His mind is a sieve.
Lulu: Yeah, you can change his mind, but so can the next person he talks to.
Ashley: But he's not malicious. I think "pure of heart" is a good descriptor. As is "village idiot." I think if I knew a girl who was banging Jason, I would tell her to keep banging him. But not like, move in or anything. So I guess she should move out, and get friends and stuff.
Lulu: Yeah, I think that's actually a decent compromise. She already moved, so maybe she can try and see if there is any other advantage to living there if he isn't the center of her world--you know, just in case. It could be like Felicity! She went to NYU for Ben, but she STAYED for the exciting city life. Also Noel. Also Ben. That show was confusing.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Unsolicited Advice Wednesday: Ass Dialing
Try to avoid ass-dialing 911, or really any legal authority, while in the midst of making a drug deal.
Unsolicited Advice Wednesday: Netflix Everywhere!
Did you know that there exist magical devices that use your electrical outlets to extend your internet network?? So you don't have to wire your entire house if you want to watch Netflix on your TV!
You just plug an ethernet cable into one of these wherever your router is set up, and then another ethernet cable into another of these, anywhere in your house that you want internets!
Here is an example: Netgear XAVB5001 Powerline Network Adapter Kit
You just plug an ethernet cable into one of these wherever your router is set up, and then another ethernet cable into another of these, anywhere in your house that you want internets!
Here is an example: Netgear XAVB5001 Powerline Network Adapter Kit
Unsolicited Advice Wednesday: Soapy
Wash in warm soapy water before first use.
Whatever it is. It can't hurt, right?
Whatever it is. It can't hurt, right?
Monday, March 5, 2012
The Abby Game
Now it's time for a game! I'm going to read you a letter, and you tell me what Abby advised.
Feb 29: Should student spill beans on her prof's behavior?
(a) Reiterate the problem but not offer advice
(b) Come down hard on the side of telling, scolding the LW for even considering staying silent
(c) Come down hard on the side of staying silent, scolding the LW for even considering telling
Answer:
Feb 29: Should student spill beans on her prof's behavior?
I am a 19-year-old student taking courses at a community college. One of my classes is taught by a great professor who also works at a state college teaching other teachers.Did Abby:
After an evening class with him one night, I returned to the classroom because I forgot something and ended up walking with him back to the parking lot.
While putting stuff into my car I saw him get into another student's car. I waited a while without them realizing I was there and ended up seeing my professor and this student smoking weed and fooling around.
I feel angry and betrayed knowing he would put his career in danger. They are both consenting adults, but I don't know whether I should report it or not. What do you think?
(a) Reiterate the problem but not offer advice
(b) Come down hard on the side of telling, scolding the LW for even considering staying silent
(c) Come down hard on the side of staying silent, scolding the LW for even considering telling
Answer:
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Where are you from, and what’s that on your face?
Lulu: This is relevant to your interests: Carolyn Hax discusses the “Where are you from?” question. Tired of being asked, ‘No, where are you really from?’
Ashley: Wow, yeah. I did used to get annoyed at that, because it gets tedious having the same conversation over and over.
Lulu:Agreed. People are trying to show interest and just inanely commenting on anything and they don't think about whether you've had that conversation over and over. I rarely make those kinds of comments, but it's out of an opposite kind of insensitivity
Ashley: You don't care about other people!!!
Lulu: It doesn't occur to me to ask!!
Ashley: It’s one of the things I like best about you!
Lulu: hahahaha
Ashley: But yes, in general I would just say the overall region (she could go with "pacific islands" or even "asia", probably?) and then deflect further questions.
"Oh, WHERE in Asia?"
"We moved around a bit. I lived near Beijing for a while." You know, if "near" is like Boston to San Francisco...
Lulu: People always ask where even though they wouldn't know what you meant if you responded correctly
Ashley: And in that regard, I'm with the LW, because she knows which will be the confusing part of the answer, and that's where conversation stalls or you get stuck in explaining your weird cultural customs and how to pronounce your name. And then you find yourself giving a lecture on palatalized consonants, and then no one is happy! She just needs to find an appropriately generic response and then practice it until it's just like, "My name is blah. What's your name?"
Lulu: Does it help to be like "Ha ha, everyone always asks me that"? I feel like that would make me feel ashamed, as a questioner, but then, I like to be original.
Ashley: I've said that a few times too, but it didn't seem to register. I don't find the question offensive, like she seems to, though, so Carolyn is right that she seems to be taking a lot of offense at a fairly innocuous question. I think it's boring but I don't find it offensive, so my responses aren't meant to embarrass or anything, but just to avoid me having to explain my whole life story again.
Lulu: That's what she says she wants too - a way to end the conversation.
Ashley: But she seems too offended based on the side remarks in the letter.
Lulu: I'd say it's not fair, but it's also not necessarily offensive in that people are just well-meaning dopes. It's not even really a race thing, just an anything-unusual kind of thing.
Ashley: There's always something...
Lulu: I always have to explain my lazy eye and my crippling social phobia
Ashley: ….
Lulu: I had blue hair for a while; if you dye your hair blue you end up having a lot of blue hair conversations,
but you brought that on yourself, really. Same with tattoos. You can assume if you see a tattoo that the person wouldn't mind discussing it, since they proudly placed it on a prominent body part, but it’s not an assumption you can make about ethnicity / accents / injuries / genetic abnormalities / etc.
Ashley: I imagine it is tiring to hear the same comments over and over about your dumb tattoo you got when you were 18
Lulu: YES I branded my forehead with PANTERA RULES. NO I don't have strong feelings about Pantera right now.
Ashley: Wow, yeah. I did used to get annoyed at that, because it gets tedious having the same conversation over and over.
Lulu:Agreed. People are trying to show interest and just inanely commenting on anything and they don't think about whether you've had that conversation over and over. I rarely make those kinds of comments, but it's out of an opposite kind of insensitivity
Ashley: You don't care about other people!!!
Lulu: It doesn't occur to me to ask!!
Ashley: It’s one of the things I like best about you!
Lulu: hahahaha
Ashley: But yes, in general I would just say the overall region (she could go with "pacific islands" or even "asia", probably?) and then deflect further questions.
"Oh, WHERE in Asia?"
"We moved around a bit. I lived near Beijing for a while." You know, if "near" is like Boston to San Francisco...
Lulu: People always ask where even though they wouldn't know what you meant if you responded correctly
Ashley: And in that regard, I'm with the LW, because she knows which will be the confusing part of the answer, and that's where conversation stalls or you get stuck in explaining your weird cultural customs and how to pronounce your name. And then you find yourself giving a lecture on palatalized consonants, and then no one is happy! She just needs to find an appropriately generic response and then practice it until it's just like, "My name is blah. What's your name?"
Lulu: Does it help to be like "Ha ha, everyone always asks me that"? I feel like that would make me feel ashamed, as a questioner, but then, I like to be original.
Ashley: I've said that a few times too, but it didn't seem to register. I don't find the question offensive, like she seems to, though, so Carolyn is right that she seems to be taking a lot of offense at a fairly innocuous question. I think it's boring but I don't find it offensive, so my responses aren't meant to embarrass or anything, but just to avoid me having to explain my whole life story again.
Lulu: That's what she says she wants too - a way to end the conversation.
Ashley: But she seems too offended based on the side remarks in the letter.
Lulu: I'd say it's not fair, but it's also not necessarily offensive in that people are just well-meaning dopes. It's not even really a race thing, just an anything-unusual kind of thing.
Ashley: There's always something...
Lulu: I always have to explain my lazy eye and my crippling social phobia
Ashley: ….
Lulu: I had blue hair for a while; if you dye your hair blue you end up having a lot of blue hair conversations,
but you brought that on yourself, really. Same with tattoos. You can assume if you see a tattoo that the person wouldn't mind discussing it, since they proudly placed it on a prominent body part, but it’s not an assumption you can make about ethnicity / accents / injuries / genetic abnormalities / etc.
Ashley: I imagine it is tiring to hear the same comments over and over about your dumb tattoo you got when you were 18
Lulu: YES I branded my forehead with PANTERA RULES. NO I don't have strong feelings about Pantera right now.
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