Thursday, October 21, 2010

Rodent Choice

I like the second question (the "kid question") in today's Hey Cherie because it's unusual.
Hey Cherie,

If you had to choose between a gerbil, a hamster, a white mouse, a white rat or a guinea pig for a pet, which would you choose? I am in fifth grade and am allowed to get one of them, but I can't make up my mind. I want to choose by the weekend.

--Rodent Choice
I hope the LW means this weekend, but I suspect it's a weekend that passed long ago. This is clearly the kind of question where you just give an arbitrary answer, and Cherie says she will but then doesn't.
Hey Rodent!

Easy question gets an easy answer. I would choose the one that makes the least amount of noise running on his or her wheel at 2 in the morning. Go for the tame rodent and the well-oiled wheel.

As for me? I'll take guppies any day of the week.
Lulu: That's not an easy answer. We can do this, guys! GO! PICK A RODENT!

Ashley: I think guinea pig. They have cute noses.

Lulu: White rat. Rats are badass.

Darnell: White mouse. I don't have a reason, I have no idea what the difference between any of those are.

Okay, so I guess the random arbitrary response approach doesn't work when there are multiple respondents. So here's what you do, kiddo. You want to google "rodents as pets" or "what rodent makes the best pet." I just did and got this handy comparison. If you wanted to be orderly about it, you could make a chart comparing cuteness, difficulty to care for, how well they do alone (if your parents will really only allow one discrete animal), and how well they interact with humans (if you want to take it out of the cage and cuddle it rather than just watching it scurry around). My champion, white rats, seem to score high on all those measures except that they are social so you would probably need to be allowed to get two, like Pinky and the Brain. Hamsters seem to be the only ones that do well alone.

If I were you I'd clarify from the parents if it would be possible to get two animals of the same type in one cage. If they say no argue that in that case several animals including your FAVORITE, the noble WHITE RAT, are disqualified then because they need company, and it would be cruel to get just one. If they still say no get a hamster.



  1. White mice rule! WHITE MICE RULE!

  2. Supporting facts of truth about the superiority of the white mouse.

  3. Great! Now our concert halls will be filled bubonic plague!

  4. Rat rat rat get a rat! Man, I wish I had a rat. It probably wouldn't be the best idea ever, what with two cats, but rats are AWESOME. When I was in 2nd grade I saw rats playing basketball at a science museum in Columbus. I'd like to see a measly mouse pull THAT off. Also it was the pet of choice of Stargirl, who I greatly admired in 7th grade. They are affectionate and super smart and can be taught to read, according to a book I read in 5th grade (HOW MANY MORE GRADES IS SHE GOING TO MENTION? SERIOUSLY).

    Anyway. RAT.

  5. you are not feeding my need for more of this blog.