Lulu: In Love Letters, there's a guy who's bad at dating, but I think Meredith's advice is fine, i.e. think of dating as finding someone you like, not gaming to find the highest-quality person who will settle for you.
Ashley: "Is the bar too low" requires examples, though. There is no way to know if he's aiming too high.
Lulu: Yeah, we need photos.
Ashley: I do agree that it's a stupid way to date, but given that he's dating that way, we can't even answer his question!
Lulu: Yeah, is he a 3 approaching 9s or a 7 approaching 4s? It gets fuzzier when you factor in things other than attractiveness, but, really, who does.
Ashley: I know right. He seems to want his date to have a career, but he's under 25. Tons of them won't!
Lulu: Yeah, that's weird. I guess career people are attracted to other career people, but my communist nature wants career people to pair with poor students and artists so they're not just a pair of career people hoarding all the money! But I guess girls who have careers usually want boys with EVEN BETTER careers, and we're just used to boys not caring about girls' moneymaking potential, so it's refreshingly nonsexist but also irritating.
Ashley: It's true that i don't want to date a starving artist, but it has little to do with money-making potential. I just don't like art!
Lulu: Would you date a barista? He loves serving coffee. He's smart and logical and loves sci-fi. He looks like Marshall Mann from In Plain Sight, but with long hair. He makes $12,000 a year, including tips.
Ashley: You had me at Marshall Mann. Also possibly at "barista". I am very sleepy.
Lulu: The commenters seem to be in agreement that settling is a bad idea, although some think it's because he's a jerk for evaluating women in terms of their looks/earning potential and others think he is doing himself a disservice by dating people he's not interested in. (I still think it comes down to whether they're imagining him as a 4 or an 8 in looks an earning potential.) Either way, though, it's a bad idea to date someone you think is beneath you. Ooh, this ties into this week's Amy Alkon too, although there it's intelligence.
Ashley: Reading... Lols. 137 isn't that high. (I'm 138 /flex)
Lulu: I don't know what I am. Probably 139.
Ashley: I know /sigh
Lulu: Agree on Amy Alkon identifying the problem as sunk costs fallacy.
Ashley: Also on man she makes stupid decisions, for a supposedly smart girl.
Lulu: Yeah, maybe do some research before you commit to an investment. In dating, research = time. She also seems to say that she feels this will be a problem when things are less 'new and exciting.' So they still are?
Ashley: And he's already unintelligent and illogical? Like, in everything? That's kind of impressive.
Lulu: She also says she loves him. People are weird.
Ashley: He's Jason from True Blood?
Lulu: I can see it!
Ashley: ...Okay, phrased that way...
Lulu: Right? He's endearing! Dumb, but hot, and most important, likeable.
Ashley: So let's give her the benefit of the doubt and say she's trying to stay with Jason.
Lulu: I feel like a lot of it also depends on, when he has an ignorant, wrong opinion, like 'god hates fangs,' can you change his mind? Is his heart in the right place? Or is he asshole kind of dumb? That's sort of unclear with Jason, really.
Ashley: Jason does change his mind; just, you know, a lot. All the time. His mind is a sieve.
Lulu: Yeah, you can change his mind, but so can the next person he talks to.
Ashley: But he's not malicious. I think "pure of heart" is a good descriptor. As is "village idiot." I think if I knew a girl who was banging Jason, I would tell her to keep banging him. But not like, move in or anything. So I guess she should move out, and get friends and stuff.
Lulu: Yeah, I think that's actually a decent compromise. She already moved, so maybe she can try and see if there is any other advantage to living there if he isn't the center of her world--you know, just in case. It could be like Felicity! She went to NYU for Ben, but she STAYED for the exciting city life. Also Noel. Also Ben. That show was confusing.
Sometimes you don't have low self-confidence, you have exactly the right amount of self-confidence given how badly you suck!
ReplyDeleteLike how not everyone has body dysmorphic disorder, sometimes they just fat. Incidentally, according to Wikipedia body dysmorphic disorder used to be called dysmorphophobia. I think Dysmorpho would be a good super villain name. He could be the nemesis of either Plastic Man OR Elastic Man. Because of how they're different.
Not Mr. Fantastic though, he's already got Dr. Doom and cool as Dysmorpho is, he is no ruler of Latveria.
I don't know what my IQ is. I probably got it tested out when I was a wee lad at some point and I am sure there is a box with an IQ diploma on it in my parent's attic somewhere right alongside my other diplomas and sundry achievement-related papers! The point is this - I am the smartest.
I like how Dumb Girl, or DG, as she shall henceforth be known, mentions that the conversation is bad unless it is about sex. To her credit she does later flat out say that the sex is good, but clearly she means the same thing there. A conversation about sex is a good one because it immediately leads to sex with Hunksto the Sexhammer (another nemesis of Dysmorpho!).
I am unfamiliar with all of these advice columnists and can never remember which one is which; does Amy Alkon always drop the science? Because if not I think this is a brilliant response / test of DG. Was a brief mention of economists, anthropologists and the theories thereof enough to glaze the eyes and make DG reevaluate a foray into the field of dating the intellectual elite and just keep getting that fat if somewhat conversationally lacking dick? If so, she probably has her answer!
Unfortunately, yes, Amy Alkon almost always drops the science. Often her science is BS about cavemen!
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